Monday, July 6, 2009

Time for a new post

OK - so my opinion on the whole friend thing...first of all...I'm a little jealous, it sounds like many of your children are content to be home with family.  Kelley is all about her friends.  I mean, she loves us too, don't get me wrong.  But it is amazing to me.  She can have kids running around here ALL DAY, she even has friends her age here...and as soon as they leave: "Can I go play with so and so?"  Oh some days it drives me crazy.  Mostly because I get so exhausted by the end of the day that I am no so very excited about having more kids over here.  (Although, I should note that Kelley's now to the age where it's sometime more helpful than not to have someone for her to play with...she stays entertained and is big enough to *clean up* most of her mess).  That being said...I have never felt really comfortable with calling someone up and saying "Kelley wants to play...can she come over?" Perhaps it's because of how I feel at the end of the day, but I figure if people (moms) want to have Kelley over, they will call me.  I have one, maybe two friends I feel like I can actually call and ask if Kelley can play over there, but I usually don't anyway.  It just seems a little presumptive to invite yourself (or in this case: your child) over.  The reason I've been thinking about this more though is that there are a few kids in the neighborhood that call and/or come over and want to play over here ALL THE TIME.  Now I have mixed feelings about this.  I would actually rather have kids over here to play, if I had the energy.  I heard too many horror stories while working at DCFS and if they kids are over here at least I know what's going on and know they are being supervised.  But the energy is the key.  I'm just plain pooped at the end of the day. 

Joey doesn't think it's a big deal to just call and ask to go over.  I was considering possibly changing my mind as well because there's at least three families around here that are more than willing to let their kids run all over and invite themselves into people's homes.  But after hearing your opinions on the matter, I think I'm going to stick with my rule.  Kelley can invite friends over (when I can muster the courage) or can go over when invited.  But I just can't get over the fact that it's a little annoying to me to just have kids showing up on your doorstep all day long ready to come in and play.  It seems safer and more courteous to me.

And another do I not only have kids wanting to play with my kids over here...I've got my daycare kids' friends wanting to come over and play.  I feel like a monster, but when I've got 12, 13, 14, 15 kids running around....I just can't handle any more craziness!  I let them in when I can, because they probably could use the safe place to hang out, but sometimes I just have to say NO.  If only I were more Christlike...perhaps I could be a more positive influence on these kids, but I'm not their mom, nor their sitter and some days, just can't do it!


Lara said...

Wow. I think that's crazy that your daycare kids' friends are wanting to come play! Yikes!

And Kelley is welcome over here anytime as long as we are home and Chloe has finished her chores. Hope you know can send her over and it won't annoy me at all I promise! :)

Audrey said...

Ok, here's my opinion. You are running a business during the hours when you have daycare kids and you need to put your foot down about their friends coming over to play. You are being paid to watch them, not their friends. As far as I know, daycare centers don't allow friends to come over and play with the kids they are watching. You have legal limits to the number of kids you can have at a time in the daycare and if someone came by for a surprise inspection and you were over the limit because someone's friends wanted to come play that could be bad for you.

As far as Kelley always wanting to go play with friends, I had the same problem with my girl and it was just too much for me during the school year so I set some ground rules. I picked a few days a week that were allowed as play days as well as requiring a 24 hr notice. I needed the 24 hr notice thing becuase if I was busy with schoolwork it became really disruptive and stressful to have a friend calling, or my girl wanting to call a friend, to play same day when I was already busy. With the 24 hour thing (not strictly 24 hour, just day before, more or less) I could prepare for the prospective playdate.

Anna said...

You are running a business. One which has certain legal requirements on adult to child ratio. So don't feel bad if you tell them NO. Maybe set up a time where they can play outside of your official daycare area, supervised by the other kids parents as well- like when you go to the playground.

hmmm just what Audrey said, lol.

On the other hand- I'm just a little jealous of your street with a dozen kids immediately available for playtime.

Tiffany said...

I don't think its crazy for you to say no when you already have more kids than you want at your house. I am a homebody and love to have my kids home with me too.It is getting better now that Kami and Talia can most likely ride their bikes or walk to their friends house and I don't have to take them. My kids act so rude to their siblings when they have friends over, so it really doesn't happen all that often. We are trying to work on that.