Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Animal Lovers Beware


Top Reason I HATE my dog:  My garden.  I patiently did my yoga breathing as she chewed up not one, not two, but something to the tune of 6 balls (soccer, beach, bouncy) in my backyard, forget all the other toys, tools, etc she destroyed back there.   I bit my tongue as she ripped to shreds the umbrella shade for our NEW sand table.  I only smacked her a few times not when I found the chewed up snow boots, not when I found the BRAND NEW sandals, but when I found my favorite pair of Tyler's shoes (green corduroy gap loafers) chewed up (thank you Tyler for leaving them there...)  I did yell and scream enough that I'm sure I sounded like a complete crazy when she got into the neighbors yard and refused to come back home, leaving them with her poop to clean up, eating their dog food and having a great time.  I followed her three blocks down the road when she refused to come to me until some kind walkers helped me corral her so I could physically carry her back home so she didn't get lost.  Last Saturday I even replaced huge chunks of weed block under my newly completed gardens where she had dug and flung the (*expensive*) soil all over the dirt and ripped up the weed block.  Tonight it is all I can do not to go out to that stupid kennel and kick her until she stops twitching!!!!  OK, so I'm not THAT mad yet, but close.  I could seriously kill her.  Joey had to move some stuff into the backyard and forgot to put her back in her kennel.  He remembered to lock it....lightbulb....she's figured out a way to get out again!!!!  AGHHHH... be right back....

OK, now she's in the house...pray for me that I don't commit a "dogicide".  Anyway, either way Joey is forgiven (if he did just carelessly leave her out)...he went to the store for me tonight so I didn't have to.  He didn't even get home from work/store until after 8 PM today because he had to go to home depot once to get stuff for the back yard.  Not a great day for me.  Anyway....she was out tonight and ran through my newly planted garden.  It could have been worse, she could have dug.  It's too dark for me to see if she disturbed anything in a major way.  But SERIOUSLY...I am not a dog person.  Really kind of hate them.  If Joey were to ever die, Koko would be the first thing to GO in this house, I don't CARE how much the kids love her.  Dogs are ok I guess if they listen to you and don't make messes and don't bark and don't jump up on you and don't shed or lick you and you don't have to clean up their poop....ok, I really don't like them much at all.  

Which brings me to another gripe (yes I'm in that mood).  LOCK UP YOUR DOGS.  I don't think people have any idea how insane it makes some of us that you can't go for a run or a walk without getting viciously barked at, or in some cases attacked by dogs that their owners don't bother to keep put away.  I don't care if your big German Shepard (that's bigger than my two kids together) wouldn't hurt a fly...he sure looks and sounds like he could eat me if he wanted to.

Sorry if any of you are big animal lovers out there.  I really am not.  I merely tolerate them.  I think Tyler is going to be one...more on that later, have some really cute stories.  But I much prefer children to animals.  At least they aren't in diapers forever and you can tell them to stay out of the garden and they are more likely than not to listen to you (depending on several different factors).   OK, I think the Unisom is overriding the adreniline again.  Time for bed.  Hope koko knows enough to stay in that spot by the back door.  She better not get into anything else tonight or else!

6 comments:

chrissy said...

Oh girl, I hear ya. I thought I was a dog lover until I got our dog. Ry thinks I'm so mean, but I'm counting down the years till I think she'll kick the bucket. The hair, the barking, the licking, the poop, the destruction... I'm done with it. Every once in a while I'll have a moment with her, but mostly I'm just done. So I'm sorry to hear about all you're going through with your dog, but just know that you're not alone :)

chrissy said...

oops i meant every once in a while i'll have a GOOD moment with her...

Tiffany said...

I am so not a dog person, and Codey is not a cat person. I am a cat person and he is a dog person, so....we had to compromise and we got one of each. He tolerates the cats and I tolerate the dog. Our dog started out in the backyard until she completely destroyed it. Now she has to stay locked in a kennel when we are not out in the backyard. I understand your pain! BTW Congrats on the upcoming baby!! That will be so fun to find out at the end. I did it for 3 of the 5. It was fun. But Peyton was my only real surprise. I thought she was a boy. I was right about Kami and Nate.

Joey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joey said...

They say dogs are a MAN's best friend, not a WOMAN's.

Anna said...

I generally feel the same way, and yet we have a new puppy. I'm hoping that with good training I'll be able to enjoy it. We'll see.