Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I should have been an attorney

When I was a little girl one of the many things I wanted to do was be a lawyer. When I was in high school I did Speech and Debate and really liked it. I think I even won some region and state medals. When I worked for DCFS my favorite part of my job was going to court. I loved listening to everything and coming up with my own arguments in my head. If you ask me, they were always pretty good. The problem is...I don't really like conflict. Funny eh?

It happens to me all the time. Some type of conflict will come up with someone and I will go over and over it in my head. I come up with all sorts of logical arguments and ways that I could "win" and prove my point. I can get pretty nasty in these arguments sometimes, but I'm always right and have a way to prove it. If I know something is coming up, I know that a person is going to approach me about an issue I will think about it endlessly and keep coming up with better things to say to anything they might have to say. But do you think that when it comes down to it that I actually say the great comebacks I come up with? No, and if I do decide it's worth it to prove my point it's not in the way that would be the most biting...that would stab to the heart. You could say that it's just because I'm a wimp and maybe that's it. But I like to think it's because I value relationships more than I value being right. It could also be because I care too much about what people think of me and I don't want people to think I'm a jerk or a snob.

I hate fighting, it makes me uncomfortable. But that's why it would be so PERFECT for me to be an attorney. I could be great in the courtroom and I would have to be because it was my job. No one could think of me as a jerk then. Oh well, not passionate enough about it to give up the next 10 years of my life to make it happen. But I know I would be great and that's all that matters....


Lara said...

You may not like conflict, but it sounds like you like right to prevail over wrong. And that's a good thing! :)

Keeping up with the Bonacci's said...

fighting for right would be fun! It's lossing when you know you are right that would be horrible! I can see you as a lawyer, but i think you are much better suited for the compassionate service you provide daily.